notes about self-improvement…
May 8th, 2007
NOTE: This post is an old post from MySpace copy/pasted into this one to add content. It is raw and unedited for content or formatting. Love it.
If you know me personally, you know that this topic has been important to me lately. Growth as a person is something I try to direct some time and energy to every year; traditionally during the lenten season. Even though I’m not a Catholic. Just makes sense to me because so many other people are doing the same thing around that time. Anyway, I missed it this year because I was sick, so I’m doing it now.
A conversation with an old friend yesterday yielded some interesting thoughts about becoming a “better” person. Before I explain, I want you to know that my personal views about this are that it’s completely subjective. Solely relevant to us as individuals. I may be better at jigsaw puzzles than you, but I’m not a better person than you. Confucius eat your heart out.
This guy (the old friend…keep up my pepes) is hugely into all the latest self-help and leadership fads that move through the business world and make words like “synergy” and phrases like “brain wavelength” cliches. You know, stuff that people quote from Successories. They more or less worship the Zig Ziglars and John Maxwells of the world. (side note…check out these)
These guys (self-help authors…geez, I swear) are pretty smart and right about a lot of things, so I’m not here to bash self-help or management gurus. But there is something specific that my friend told me that one of them said that struck me as dead wrong. It sounded semi-true, but the more I discussed it with him, the more I disagreed with it.
Basically, he was suggesting that there is a spectrum: on one end, we have people who use their “left brain” almost entirely. They’re highly analytical, enjoy mundane tasks, find sense of accomplishment in boring, boring, boring stuff. But they’re detail-oriented people and that’s that. At the other end of this spectrum are people who think in concepts. They are creative, scatterbrained, big-picture people. ADHD comes to mind…
So everyone is born somewhere on this spectrum. You might be extreme. You might lean one way or the other. Kind of like the Kinsey Scale. But the premise he was suggesting is that you’re born as a little dot on this little graph and that’s where you’ll stay. To fight it is futile and thusly, pointless. He tells this to me after I had suggested that I tend to be a creative, big-picture thinker but I have spent time and energy trying to improve the more analytical side of my brain to become more well-rounded and have done so to the point that I actually enjoy a lot of detail stuff and have become quite good at it.
He scolded me, telling me about this spectrum dealio and explaining that this particular self-help guru had said that we need to stop focusing on improving our weaknesses and instead focus on our strengths and rely on teamwork to support us where we are weak.
In theory, I agree with this; especially as we get older. But to suggest that we should devote little to no attention to improving our weaknesses is foolish to me. I believe that in becoming well-rounded, we become healthier, more intelligent, and generally more successful people. Even Einstein suggested doing things and learning things against your nature to improve your IQ because it challenges your brain and opens new neuropathways or some other mumbo jumbo that only geniuses would understand.
Let me illustrate…I’m a decent soccer player. And I’m naturally ambidextrous. But with my feet, I’ve always been stronger with my right foot, more accurate with my left. It’s a curse.
Now, when I played defense, my coach would generally play me in positions that would make it easier for me to use my right foot to clear the ball. I would position myself against attacking offense that would put my strong leg in an advantageous position. When I was striker, I’d typically play my left foot.
But here’s the kicker (pun completely intended). There were times on defense that the ball needed cleared…now. And my teammates were nowhere near me. And guess what? I had to use my left foot. If I had spent no time in practice training my left foot to be stronger, I would fail. Every single time. Also, there were times on offense when the shot should be taken but I had to take it with my right foot. No amount of teamwork was going to help me with my placement. I had to have put some time in practice training my right foot to be more accurate or I would never score when the occasion arose.
In other words, I had to become a more well-rounded player. If I refused, citing the principle above, then I’d be a piss poor footballer; not to mention as predictable as Pavlov’s little puppy dog. Improving skills that I wasn’t naturally good at made me a better player.
Am I suggesting that we spend all of our time focussing on improving our weak areas? No. And that’s probably what this self-help guru guy was trying to say. Am I even saying that we should spend a LOT of time focussing on improving our weak areas? No. I believe that we should play to our strengths and seek out careers and hobbies that utilize them. We’ll be happier and more successful that way anyway. But I also believe in laying a foundation of skills that will come in handy down the road. Even if I’m most voracious critical thinker, I’m still going to need to see the big picture once in a while to function. If I create these awesome concepts but don’t understand the first thing about the work it takes to see them through, I’ll never be able to communicate with the people who do that. Or, in a pinch, do it myself.
This friend of mine had told me that he took all of these tests and talked to all of these people to discover that he lands almost smack dab in the middle; leaning towards the “big picture” side of the spectrum. In other words…he’s balanced. I told him that I didn’t believe this was a product of his birth, but rather a result of years of strengthening skills with which he wasn’t naturally endowed. (hehe…I just said “endowed”) It’s not fair to say “Well, I was naturally born well-rounded…all things to all men.” and then discourage others from striving for the same thing.
See, I think that should be a goal. To move toward the middle of the spectrum. Take pride in our natural talents, but don’t be afraid to improve skills that are a little uncomfortable for you. Yes, stop focussing on your weaknesses and start focussing on your strengths. Yes be proud of who and what you are. But don’t stop improving the other side of your brain. You’ll age better, improve your IQ, and get laid a lot more often.
OK, that last one is debatable, but you get the point.
Filed under: body, faith, work
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